But more about my weight later.
One of the first things that struck me was the kindness of the people here on campus. When I went for a routine medical check up, the kind lady at the reception asked me sweetly, “are you an athlete”. I looked down at my perfectly portly frame and gave her the sweetest smile I’ve ever given anyone. “I’m not an athlete. But thanks for the compliment”, I replied.
Out here people have a fascination for drinks. No wonder I have been able to integrate myself so well. Though I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since leaving my homeland, I have not lost my empathy towards fellow drinkers. Once a drinker, always a drinker is my credo. When I accompanied a group of friends to a pub, we were asked for age identification at the entrance. Out here you need to be above 21 to even enter a pub. Trust me, when you are 26 and in the “matured” bracket, you take such questions as compliments.
When questioned which degree I gained in India, I am tempted to say B.E (Mech) + MS (Electronics) + Phd (Maths). With the number of times I’ve taken the Electronics and Maths exams during engineering, I think I’ll be eligible for a masters and a post doc in those subjects respectively.
I think Americans have started identifying sacred places where one has to remove his shoes before entering. Though how airports and the ferry to the Statue of Liberty qualify as holy places, I am still trying to figure out. But I overheard someone standing in line to the ferry, pointing in our direction and saying, “it’s because of them”. I think he was talking about the integration of Indian culture in American society on the lines of yoga and meditation.
Back to my weight again and I’ve started applying my MBA principles to try and reduce it. I’ve compared my body to an industry, which is over staffed and needs trimming down to make it more efficient. I’ve read somewhere that trimming starts from the top. Some shedding has to be done pronto. My body is following the same pattern and the MBA has caused my hair to start shedding already. Maybe a bit of intelligence as well, but that’s something I don’t want to dwell upon.
I was playing racket ball the other day and it’s a great stress buster. The game requires precision of timing and anticipation of speed to hit the ball well. The constant bouncing of the ball off the walls while smashing it back and forth was like a Eureka moment. Thankfully I didn’t celebrate the moment like Archimedes. The cold evening air was not highly conducive to run naked in. And thus I missed my first opportunity to add to the list of famous Indians in the US.
I took a cue from some of my Ph.d friends here. Then, using my own experience and feedback from friends back in India, I engaged in some complex calculations to came up with a theory. It’s called the “Rebound Theory”.
It’s a method, which helps us realize the best time to approach a girl after she has broken up. Usually guys approach a girl when she has broken up and they have to hear “I’m not ready yet”. That is so disappointing for them. By applying my theory, we can calculate the best time.
“For every 6 months of a relationship, rebounding will start after 30 days. The subsequent calculations can be done by direct proportion by splitting the time into years, months or days”. For example, if a girl has been in a relationship for 2 years, she’ll take 120 days to “move on”. So approach her after 120 days.
All those who do not understand my theory do not deserve to try it. Those who do, try it out, it really works !
All the best !
P.S It doesn’t work on guys !!!!!!