MARRIAGE MANIA

"Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere" - Groucho Marx.

Exactly my point!

Lately my friends and acquaintances (of either gender) have been slowly but surely succumbing to the marketing wiles of these mushrooming matrimonial sites, social/ parental / peer pressures and sell by date college romances (not exactly in that order).

Yet, bravely I stood with a trusted few, guarding the haloed frontiers of bachelorhood. Grieving (at times sniggering at) the vanquished.

So while my "online albums" (on those dime for a dozen social networking sites) bore photographs of philandering boys on the beaches of Goa, “their” albums had beautiful wedding and honeymoon snaps.

I wish to clarify I do not detest marriage. It is as sacred an institution as there can be (so I’ve read). But for everything in life, there is a certain age (always exception to the rule). Else 8 year olds would be driving just because they love fast cars. You need to be matured enough to peep through the veil of initial thrill and recognize the hazards that lie ahead.

Plus, marriage is akin to bungee jumping or sky diving. You sign a consent form before you actually take the plunge. Unfortunately if you enjoy the thrill of taking the deep plunge, let’s just say you can’t go sky diving in the immediate future when it comes to marriage. However much you wish to. (That’s 10/10 for morals and 11/10 for committment).

Finally when my impatience hit the roof on account of my friends’ “suicidal” tendencies, I sent a mass email to all the vanquished. It had a simple question. “Life is to be enjoyed when you are young and free. So for God’s sake, WHY ?”

I got varied responses mostly from the US, Bangalore, Pune and some from Mumbai. The tone of the response depended on the person’s emotional proximity to me, their gender and their reasons to take the plunge.

The honest ones (exclusively males) were pretty forthright with their reply. Something on the lines of Joseph Barth saying, “Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up”. I totally agree. Next time do some macho things in your teens so you won’t have to take such drastic steps.

The ones who had arranged marriages quoted something on the lines of Tom Mullen’s, “Marriages blossom when we love the ones we marry”. As an antithesis to this, I just remembered Samuel Johnson’s saying, “Marriage is the triumph of hope over experience”. Amen!

My creative friends from the Oscar Wilde school of thought responded as the great man would have. “Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence”. No wonder we get along so well on most counts.

But my favorite, coming from my really close bosom buddies (of either gender) was on the lines of “now at least we get laid each night”. “With the same partner”, was my sardonic remark. “Not always” was their surreptitious reply. Case rested. Meet you in hell.

One last juvenile dig at my “hit list” (excluding my haloed bosom buddies of course). One last email which pleaded, “GET A LIFE!”

One unanimous response from them “GET A WIFE!”